A penguin is driving his McLaren 12C along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running hot and he sees steam rising from the tiny engine lid. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest mechanic, thinking it could be the infamous water pump going bad. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 15 minutes to find the problem."

To kill some time, the Penguin walks down to the street and finds an ice cream store. The perfect treat to remind him of home.

After he finishes, he heads back to the garage to find out what is wrong with the McLaren.

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream."

 

"Pullover!"

"No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'." "Yeah! Killer boots man!"

Sorry, I die every time at that one. Can't beat Dumb & Dumber lol

 

OK....I will put my bid in:

A snail goes into a McLaren Dealer and buys a 12c coupe and wants a big "S" on top of the car.
The dealer thinks this is wierd but complies with the snail's request.
When the request is completed and delivered to the snail, the dealer cannot help himself and asks........Why do you want an "S" on top of your car?
The snail says when I drive by people they can say...."Look at that S Car Go!"

 

How many McLaren F1 owners does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They grasp it and the world revolves around them.

 

Guy loses his penis in an accident. Doc says we have a new procedure to graft on a small elephant trunk. Guy is desperate so he goes through with it.

He recovers and finally gets up the nerve to go on a date.

At dinner with a beautiful woman sitting across from him, his new member reaches up from under the table, grabs a potato, then goes back under the table.

He’s mortified! Slowly he looks up at the woman... she’s excited and says can you do that again!

He quietly says no... my ass can’t take another potato.

 

Awesome idea. Rather than contributing a joke (my vote, BTW, goes to the potato one, which made me literally LOL), I'll offer to do this: scan the sucker into a PDF for distribution (if this is a factory one, and NOT the one from the list member).

 

My vote goes to BigHead. That would be wonderful if more of the 12C community could benefit. But you still need to contribute a joke for the pdf copy

 

BigHead for the win! If OP can’t scan I’d be happy to.

 

Exactly right! this should be going towards something that can scan it and share it with the community as a PDF! Another vote for him.

 

I'll offer to scan it as well.... or vote to have it scanned for the community.

 

Agree too. Good plan. Scan has to be searchable. And we still need a joke winner.

 

To keep within the rules... (though I propose whoever wins promises to scan and share)

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take my best bitch with me, give her a McLaren worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie?" the teacher asks.

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

 

I agree with the scanning and paying for the scan. I have been looking for a service manual so please help.

 

Guys, I'll have an electronic version uploaded and available to save you the effort.

 

Link?

 

...but you all have to keep the jokes coming

 

Ok fine I got one

A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents. While they were having dinner the girl gently farts. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:
-Rocky!!
The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip. The boy’s father is getting nervous:
-Rocky!! be careful now!!
Worried no more the girl fires another one. Feeling exasperated, the boy’s father yells:
-Rocky! Get out of there fast! She’s gonna sh*t on you!

 

See attached.

 

thanks!

 

Dont know what all the hoo haa is these days about LGBT, my wife has been bi for years.

Buy me a handbag
buy me a car
buy me some clothes

 

Wow, Valentin, thanks, very cool!

 

Thanks Valentin!

I actually bought the printed copy just over a year ago and it was worth every penny!

The gift you just gave the McLaren community is PRICELESS!!! Bravo!!!

 

Well, this was fun and actually beneficial to the whole forum as Valentin scanned the manual to a .pdf everyone can use.

Sticking with the original premise, but ending a little early it's a close call between NbyNW's "Potato" and EAvila's "Johnny" but I have to give it to EAvila. PM me your address and I'll send my hardcopy to you

 

PM sent and THANKS! Very generous of you and Valentin in this thread. Everybody wins!

 

I know that I’m late to the game here but in the spirit of Christmas here goes…
A little boy wrote Santa a letter saying that he wanted a little sister for Christmas… Santa wrote back, “send me your mom!”

 

Thanks Valentin. Posted in the FAQs as well. http://www.mclarenlife.com/forums/m...ms/mclaren-lounge/63273-faqs-common-mclaren-questions-problems.html#post1257009

Great thread!

 

Many thanks for the share and seasons greetings from your fellow British Mc Owners!