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by Harry Metcalfe

"So, as you all know, the blokes over at McLaren relied heavily on my expertise when making the first updates to the MP4-12C. If you remember, the weighting of the shift paddles was so heavy that the car was doomed for failure in the supercar market. Certainly, I feel a bit of pride knowing that I saved a GBP 1 billion investment. What many of you may not know is that I've been assisting Horatio Pagani, as well. Having driven the Huayra months ago, I happen to know that the car is littered with faults. Luckily, because of my input, the first owners will never know about them. Back to McLaren. I penned management again this week, as I've been noodling over some great ideas for another update. Firstly, and this took me a long time to come up with this gem, why not give it more power? If you give it more power, in theory it should go even faster. If it goes faster, it will be very fast. Even faster than it is, now. Okay, second thing - make the induction noise programmable. I know I was solely responsible for McLaren increasing the volume inside the cockpit - which all owners have told me they universally love (in fact, some have coined the phrase "Harry Metcalfe Delete" when they ask the dealers to get rid of it). So, why not save them the trip to the dealer by letting the driver turn it off manually. Job done, your welcome. Now the best bit - make these updates free for existing owners. I know - it's genius, right? Think about it, if you make it free, the owners will love the company. At the end of the day, everybody just wants to be loved. I just received a letter from Antony Sherrif saying McLaren is going to implement my updates, starting in October. Remember, you read it here first, in EVO magazine. Now, I know I have Luca's phone number here, somewhere..."

;)
 

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"my updates" He surely has an ego larger than England.
 

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by Harry Metcalfe

"So, as you all know, the blokes over at McLaren relied heavily on my expertise when making the first updates to the MP4-12C. If you remember, the weighting of the shift paddles was so heavy that the car was doomed for failure in the supercar market. Certainly, I feel a bit of pride knowing that I saved a GBP 1 billion investment. What many of you may not know is that I've been assisting Horatio Pagani, as well. Having driven the Huayra months ago, I happen to know that the car is littered with faults. Luckily, because of my input, the first owners will never know about them. Back to McLaren. I penned management again this week, as I've been noodling over some great ideas for another update. Firstly, and this took me a long time to come up with this gem, why not give it more power? If you give it more power, in theory it should go even faster. If it goes faster, it will be very fast. Even faster than it is, now. Okay, second thing - make the induction noise programmable. I know I was solely responsible for McLaren increasing the volume inside the cockpit - which all owners have told me they universally love (in fact, some have coined the phrase "Harry Metcalfe Delete" when they ask the dealers to get rid of it). So, why not save them the trip to the dealer by letting the driver turn it off manually. Job done, your welcome. Now the best bit - make these updates free for existing owners. I know - it's genius, right? Think about it, if you make it free, the owners will love the company. At the end of the day, everybody just wants to be loved. I just received a letter from Antony Sherrif saying McLaren is going to implement my updates, starting in October. Remember, you read it here first, in EVO magazine. Now, I know I have Luca's phone number here, somewhere..."

;)
Modest guy!!
 

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HAHA!!! That's just hilarious!! You had me going for the first couple of sentences!
 
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